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Enjoy All Your Career Interactions with Confidence, Both On and Offline

Enjoy It All

Two Very Different Approaches

First there was... well for the sake of this post, let's call him John; then there was Carole. And their approaches could not have been more different.

I noticed it was John's anniversary on LinkedIn and messaged him:

"Happy Anniversary John! #yayyou #EverPositive Eilidh."

He replied, "Thanks for noticing Eilidh and trust you are well?"

I responded, "Very well thanks John. Enjoy a great week, maybe a holiday and hopefully some more sunshine."

And what's wrong with this dialogue I hear you say? I agree. It's a conversation between two relative strangers that is developing nicely. We're beginning to get to know each other. Now I am looking forward to hearing from John again; that is until his very next message which read:

"Thanks Eilidh. Hoping you will order (at least one copy of!!) our new book.... (insert link) It would be great if you could order on Amazon release day... (insert date) and post a review to help with the rankings... (and then the kicker) put a diary note in to remind you!"

You can't shortcut a shortcut

Ok, so how would you feel? My first reaction was oh dear, he just doesn't get relationship building. Quality friendships take time and you cannot short-cut the short cut known as social media! John has just dunked our new found friendly feeling of friendship into an ice bucket!

Why do some intelligent folks do this? I'm sure you've experienced the same kind of messages:

  1. Buy this product!
  2. Book me!
  3. Like my Facebook!

When you hardly know the person! It's madness and goes totally against the wisdom of working with business with people you know, like and trust. In fairness to John (who's no doubt a nice guy) maybe he thought his message was funny, however humour seldom translates as intended. And you know with humour you run the risk of disconnect.

8 Touch-points

I suggest you have at least 8 touch-points before getting anywhere near a sniff of business. You wouldn't go up to a stranger and say,"Book me!" or any of the above would you? If you wouldn't say things face-to-face why on earth would you do so my email or on social media? It's bewildering and displays odd business behaviour. On platforms such as LinkedIn it takes time to develop a relationship. What's the mantra I put forward?

Be Interested! 

Just Be YOU!


  1. Develop your personal style and stick with it! You might prefer more friendly or factual and business focused. Just be you, whether you are real-time or virtual.
  2. Share something of yourself that's interesting and then BE INTERESTED in the other person!
  3. Show your expertise and perhaps he/she may ask for more information. If not, you need to keep building the relationship.

Then there was Carole.

"It was lovely to see you... I haven’t forgotten... so my friend... I will get back to you... and then do let me know if you are still interested. I don’t know if you are aware but I am chair of the mental health charity..."

And she went on to share some relevant information that may be of interest to my clients.

She closed "Take care, X Carole."

To Your Sweet Social Media Success!

Carole was clever. We'd already experienced our 8 points of connection. This savvy business woman knew that for us to be able to work together in the future, the "kisses" had to come first. In other words, we needed to continue to learn more about each other before were we able to assist in a meaningful way.

Both face-to-face networking and building your career and profile on social media are so much sweeter when you take time to know each. Click here for more career tips and tricks. Have fun exploring!

This article originally appeared as a LinkedIn Pulse Post. You'll find more stories and tips to boost your confidence and career on this link.