Focus on the Gap Tips on How to be a Better Communicator...
In the art negotiating (sales) 80% is listening. I’ve known for decades the truth of these words, but I hadn’t thought about it in terms of using
your eyes even more than your ears.
Use your Eyes!
Ignoring what you see when communicating with others can cause you to miss a HUGE part othe message, often the most important part.
Suppose you’re talking to clinician. You’re telling her something and she says “Yes” to every point you make. Yet her posture clearly shows that she is
not buying what you’re trying to sell him. If you’re not observing that part of his reaction, you’ll miss what he’s really conveying.
Tune in on Body Language
Or at work, you’ve made a difficult decision and announced it to another person who will be impacted by it. You ask if she’s OK with it and you get the
response, “It’s fine.” But her body slumps, and disappointment is written on her face. Are you paying attention to her body language, in addition to
Communication is hard.
We don’t learn these essential skills in school, and often we focus on the wrong things – what we want to say, the strength of our position or rationale,
attempting to persuade the other person to accept our point of view…
If we can take more time to zero in on others – to truly see who they are and how they’re reacting to our message – we’re much more likely to interpret
their response accurately.
Watch What They Say AND What They Do!
This dynamic gives us the opportunity to have real dialogue and go deeper. We can address the discrepancy between their words and their body language,
and open the door for them to be honest with us about their real thoughts and feelings.
If you’re genuinely interested in “getting” another person, commit to using your ears AND your eyes in every conversation. You may be astounded at what
you learn…and what you’ve been missing.